Saturday, January 9, 2010

The dreaded office Christmas Party!

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. Phyllis Diller
Oh yes it is that time…the time to look for the perfect dress…shine up your smile…and prepare yourself for the office Christmas party.
I really can not complain to much.  Hondo’s office parties are pretty tame, I like the people he works with, his boss is wonderful and it is a free night out with no kids.
Why I stress about it I have no idea? This year was no different.  I took my dress back and exchanged it no less than 7 times…each time swearing to the saleslady at Macy’s that I would not be back again. My girls actually refused to go back to the mall with me on the last trip claiming they were embarrassed to be seen with me! I will remember that one girlies!
We made plans to spend the night at the hotel that hosted it, a quite swanky place…I did the obligatory dieting before the big day…we were all set.
Great food, great music and dancing and great spirits. AHHHHH so this is where the story was leading…great spirits…and not in the go team go kinda spirits…but in the Cabernet and Pinot Noir kinda spirits..
Not a huge drinker…I did not have my first glass of wine until the end of the party.  I call this pacing myself, Hondo calls this job security. By this time I had decided that we were in downtown Atlanta, I was wearing a banging hot dress, I was with the man I love and I was bound and determined to go dancing. In typical Hondo fashion…dancing we went.
The next morning we had to be up extra early, Hondo had a trip to Brazil that was leaving at 3pm…meaning he had to be to the airport by 1pm.  We had an hour drive home, he still had to pack, he wanted to be early because this was one of the few trips his boss was going on with him…and the tribe was waiting for us.  While I laid in bed and tried to decide how bad I was going to feel when my feet hit the floor, Hondo decided to go take a shower.
I knew the minute I heard the following that something was maybe a little off…”what the heck?” “WHAT THE HECK?” “Are you serious?” “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” …”Oh honey????” “Could you please come in here????” …you know, to be honest, I really did not want to go in there.  The reality was hotel rooms are not huge and the only place to hide was in the bathroom…and that was where Hondo was…so my choices were few.
Upon entering the bathroom Hondo looked at me…I should have made a run for it!
Hondo:“Sweetie? Did you have gum in your mouth last night?”
Me: “Ummm? Why do you ask?”
Hondo: “Sweetie, did you have gum in your mouth last night?”
Me: “Ummmmm? Geez baby I don’t think so…why?”
Me : giggle (for future reference not the best response)
Hondo: “Well?” “Can I get some help here?”
Me: giggle (again.. not the best response)
Hondo: “I am so glad that you find this humorous, however I have a wad of green gum stuck to the back of my f-ing head, can you please see if you can get it out?”
Me: “umm baby that is not going to happen, it’s huge (giggle) I think I am going to have to cut it (giggle), you know you really should avoid getting gum in your hair in the future (ROFLOL)
Hondo: “Just cut the ^%$^ out so we can go home”
Me: “You have a hat right? I am hungry and I don’t want to be seen with your hair looking like that in public (giggle)”
I cut the gum out, he put on a hat, (just a quick note that this was not the time to tell him he looked like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber, okay so there was never a time to tell him that but I could not resist), I got my Varsity hotdog on the way home, I got a little nap while waiting in the car as he got a haircut to straighten up what I cut out, he made his flight even though he had to spend quite a bit of time explaining to his boss how his hairstyle changed so much when he had only seen him the night before….and the kids had the best laugh they had all year, when hearing the explanation as to where all his hair had gone.
Have I told you that I am married to a saint recently? The fact that he still looks at me every night and tells me he loves me is beyond anything that I could possibly have hoped for in this life time…I know that he is a little grayer because of us…I like to think of that as adding a little color to his life!!!!
It may never be easy but it will always be worth it…even with gum in your hair.


  1. I'm still laughing from you sending me this episode in a text msg. I have again, HOWEVER, laughed so loudly that I scared the cat & I think some of my neighbors are considering calling 911 because I can't seem to stop! This is right up there with you letting ALL of the air out of the tires, my love. Right up there...

  2. I have to admit I giggled when I wrote it too...I am soooooo going to wife hell!