Thursday, September 24, 2009

I’m not touching you…


Do you remember the commercial where the kids are riding in the car…sitting in the back set…one had their finger a millimeter from the others face saying “I’m not touching you!” over and over and over…

That is me today…I am totally and completely on everyone’s nerves, even my own.

A couple of days ago I made the comment “I wish I had a day to sit and leave a personal message for everyone on my facebook and in my email.”

Well I did not know at the time that life as we know it would stop…my town would flood…my job would close for a whole week…and I would have nothing but time on my hands….time and a really comfy pair of jammies.

So here I sit…it is Thursday…the rains came on Sunday…that would be the last day that I put on real clothes…Hondo has been busy with business meetings and the kids have all been off doing their own thing with friends. The house has been remarkably quiet…even the dogs had to be boarded for a couple of days…what is a girl to do.

I have watched everything on the TIVO, On Demand and all the new videos that I had bought but not seen. I have organized all my files, folders and pictures on my computer. My scrapbook room is neat and clean and all the laundry is done…all done of course in my jammies. I have emailed everyone in my contact list…sent a message to everyone online…and today I started seeing how quick I could respond to posts that were made…trying to get it up within a minute of them leaving it on my page…I have found more friends to add to my list than I thought possible…again all done in my jammies.

Tonight Hondo asked me a question…I guess the glazed over look was more than he could take…”Baby, it isn’t even summer yet and you are know you have to go back to work next week…you can not check out this early in the game”. Pffft I have a whole week off and I am in my jammies, WHAT does he expect?

I have begun to get sore elbows from resting them on the desk when I type, I search for the shift key in my sleep,I have googled every movie star/TV star I could think of and I have started telling knock knock jokes out loud to the dogs…and I am pleased to report that I now know all the words to Boom Boom Pow.

To those of you that I emailed, with every random thought I had today, I apologize…its a sickness…I am sure that there is a support group out there I could join…but that would require getting dressed and to be honest…I still have 3 more days before I have to be back to work and I just don’t think I have it in me.

Signing off… Will. I. Am. drop the beat now..Ya’ll getting hit with the boom boom.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I live in a ZOO!

HELP! I have completely lost my mind…I live in the Twilight Zone…what in the world have I done in my life to warrant the craziness that is the Caplinger house? I actually get up every morning thinking that today will be a normal day? Are you kidding me? I am living a life that no sitcom writer even dares to dream…John and Kate plus 8 my fannie….THIS is the stuff that reality TV is made of.

I have spent years trying to unlearn all the “naughty” words that I learned from all that time working emergency medicine…but today all that went right out the window! I am the queen of naughty, the diva of disaster…my Dad’s Army buddies would be proud…I on the other hand will be asking for lots of forgiveness tonight as I say my prayers.

I have blogged about Ms. LulaBelle and her shedding and how I really had been considering shaving her down…I talked with the groomer and she said “oh yes, lots of people with long haired cats do this”…so after doing my research I scheduled her beauty shop appointment for 9 this morning. Let me point out in no way do I consider this my groomers fault…how was she to know that there was no way on God’s Green Earth that this would go according to plan.

I just got a call to come and get LulaBelle…it went something like this, “Can you please come get your cat, she is ready” “Oh great, I am on my way” “Well she is a little stressed out, I will let you get her out of the room” “Awww, poor thing” “Yes, um I could not complete her” “Eeek, how bad is it” “Well (nervous laughter), I got about half way done” “Oh okay, I will be right there”.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, can prepare you to see your cat half shaved.  Not even the top half or the bottom half, not the front half or the back half….just half…if you add up all the parts and pieces. I just keep saying over and over “OH S**T…Noel is at a friends and when she sees her I have to relive this all over again “OH S**T”…OH D&^*… OH F*&(

I am sure it is not helping that Max has done nothing but growl at her, she is shedding twice as bad from nerves and I have had to change out of two shirts, because they were covered in hair. Hair from the UNSHAVED HALF OF HER BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can only imagine the conversations that were had at the groomers…good thing I consider them my friends…I am sure that if not they would call Kitty DFACS on me.

On the other hand Hondo, not a huge cat fan, will get many a giggle as I send him the pictures…you just wait buddy, one day this will all spill over into your world…we are married so that is a given…remember what is mine is yours! Plus when they have to lock me in a padded room, you are stuck with the kids…oh oh oh that made me smile!!!

Will the madness ever stop? Will my life ever be normal again? Will I recognize it if it does? Will my sweet and patient husband leave on a trip and never come home…content to sip Cerveza and eat ceviche, while I continue to go slowly insane?

LulaBelle before her bad hair day

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LulaBelle worst hair day ever

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It may never be easy (NO CRAP) BUT it will always be worth it.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"Remember this—there's the Cowboys, and then there's the rest."


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Growing up as a child my father had this glass helmet with the Dallas Cowboys insignia on the side. When you pulled out the mouth piece peanuts fell into your hand. We were without a doubt  a “True Blue”  family. I knew who Tom Landry was before I could name a president. After all they were America’s Team.

Roger Staubach, Mike Ditka, Ed”to tall” Jones, Drew Pearson, Randy White, Tony Dorsett, Hershel Walker, Michael Irvin,  Troy Aikman and Emmet Smith…all men that I thought we were somehow related to….maybe long lost uncles I did not know about…because my Dad sure did talk as if we knew them.

My best friend, Kaiya, was a Miami Dolphins freak.  I truly thought Dan Marino would have to one day take out a restraining order on her. For some reason I remember a poster in the dorm room…but many things are sketchy about that time in college (again, sorry mom :).

Fast forward 20 plus years and here I am…married to a member of the “True Blue” fan club.  Yes there really is such a thing.  He has been a Dallas Cowboys fan as long as he can remember. We have a HUGE star on the back of our car, we plan Sunday evening meals based on if we need to eat around the TV, the only time I got him to watch Dancing With The Stars was when Emmet was on it, we actually got a Dallas Jersey as a wedding gift and if they lose you know to clear a path. Not something to brag about, but no matter what age you are…if you are wearing a Washington Redskins jersey he is going to talk smack to you…we actually witnessed it as he gave a 3 year old crap for his shirt.

What I have learned is that being married to a man that is that passionate about something like a football team is a GREAT thing…it means he brings passion to everything in his life.

I have been having the best time over the last 2 weeks watching Kaiya’s posts on Facebook. She has referred to staying up late watching the Dolphins, how they won just for her on her birthday and there is the occasional post about her psuedo-husband Dan Marino…I love that not a dang thing has changed over the years.

A couple of years ago when deciding what color to paint the guest room it came to me…I can pay homage to my father, my husband and all those who still play arm chair quarterback to America’s team…plus it gave me an excuse to buy a Flathead of my man Emmet Smith. It was the best feeling in the world when Hondo got to walk in and see the completed project…and to see him show it off to his friends.

So they have not started off the season with a bang…a true fan doesn’t care…have you seen their freaking stadium? I think if I play my cards right, I will, before the year is out!

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


What's the good of news if you haven't a sister to share it?

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.  ~Linda Sunshine


Growing up my sister, Erin, was a terror. She hid in the closet and spied as my dates and I sat on the couch. She used to sit in her room and scream “Mom, Shannon hit me”…as I sat on the toilet, no where near her. She bloodied more kids nose’s in the neighborhood than I can remember. She used to sit next to my boyfriends and “fart” (yes Mom I know you hate that word) and then when you would look at her she would smile and say “whaaat”. She actually overheard a conversation my parents had about a little girl that had over stayed her spend the night time, and came into my room and said “my Mom and Dad need to know when you are leaving, you talk too much”. 

I have no idea how it happened…but this terror is my best friend. Now I don’t mean best friend love ya lots…but OMG you better not say a thing or I will rip your head off and shove it up your fannie best friend.

Erin has grown into a confident, self assured, smart, funny, resilient, talented woman that I am proud to know. She is a gifted writer, a mother to my precious niece and nephew, and the best dang Aunt ever. We laugh at each other so hard we pee our pants, we cry when the other is hurt and if she doesn’t like someone, it is a given, that I don’t either. Above all else we keep each other grounded. I do not for one second take this gift of a sister for granted, and its all the better knowing that she does not either.

I laugh when I tell people that although she walked around with a bucket on her head, hitting it with a stick (not exaggerating on this one, I promise) she is the normal one.

It is with great joy and pleasure that I watch her children run her ragged.  My nephew, Parker, is a fiery red head and my darling niece, Nora, is the epitome of all that was Erin.  I love to get the, OMG, look what they just did texts…and I hoot out loud every time she says “what did I do to deserve this?”

The latest text was accompanied by the picture above and the following“It is a sad sad day in the Stone house. That was an entire unopened bottle of wine that my son knocked off the top of the refrigerator. I needed to mop already, but damn”. Yes, Erin, I am laughing…and if you need a reminder …

For Christmas one year my Grandmother had brought me back a watch, with a black velvet band, from the Virgin Islands. As I unwrapped the watch (I was 16 at the time) I ohhhed and ahhhed and showed everyone that it had rhinestones and the words The Virgin Islands on the face. Erin proceeded to tell everyone, friends, family, relatives of all ages….”But Shannon is not a virgin…” At this point my Grandmother lost consciousness, my father choked on a cinnamon roll and my mother aged 25 years before my face. Erin then followed it with “she is not a virgin…she is a Pisces's.” I do not think my grandmother was ever the same…and my parents grounded me for 4 weeks, just to be safe. I have not read the horoscopes with the same zest ever again.

So tonight I raise my wine glass to you, dear sister.  As I still have a bottle that is full…and toast to you…my best friend, my confidant you are but a different flower from the same garden of my life.

One of the best things about being an adult is the realization that you can share with your sister and still have plenty for yourself.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


Monday, September 21, 2009

Noah built a great big boat, all the animals they did float, for 40 days and 40 nights the rain came pouring down…

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This is the first line in a song that Noah’s favorite teacher wrote for him.

I just got done watching the news…I am going to have to turn it off for a while, it is just gut wrenching.

24 inches of rain in 24 hours, death toll unknown because they can not get to people, Douglas County is the first county in the state to be declared under a State of Emergency…and I am sure there are many more to follow.

We are safe, for now. I am worried about Nick who chose to ride it out at the college. He can not get to his truck, and we are praying that it is there when he can finally get across campus…BUT he is safe.

Our thoughts are with all our friends who are battling the ever rising waters…and with the parents of the young man from our high school who drowned trying to drive his truck across the creek waters covering the roads.

Be safe and hug your kids a little longer tonight.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


When it rains it pours.


The weather outside is frightful lol. All kidding aside the rain is continuing to come down. We have had 12 inches in 48 hours with more to come tonight.

The yard is flooded so bad we have had to take the dogs to be boarded for the night. School is now closed for 3 days due to water main breaks, contaminated water where there is running water, and many roads that have been washed away.

The kids have been keeping busy for the most part. Although you can see from the picture that bored kids equals trouble. I am not sure what they were thinking or even trying to do with LulaBelle…and I am not going to ask. It is simpler that way. What I do know is that it can not be good because this is a cat that spends 23 out of 24 hours sleeping…not a cat who is known for getting any higher in the air than the couch.


I may have to channel my mother…”if you can not find something to do I will find it for you”…it usually works.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.

YUP, I am in trouble!

What the daughter does, the mother did.  ~Jewish Proverb

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Um is this the concession counter at the movie theatre?


Last night I jumped on the kids computer to find a picture of Dallas and Deacon that I asked Noel to take.

Being a “good” mother…I took a second to look at the pictures the kids had downloaded over the last couple of months.

I was quickly taken back to my childhood…all the pictures taken with Kaiya, Laurie, Wendy and Vickie..just to name a few. I quickly realized “I am in so much trouble”! Who is this teenager with the smile and zest for life?

I have always laughed that Noel was the most like me in so many ways. Quick to anger, quick to love, quick to forgive and ready to take on all the world has to offer. Any mother/daughter will tell you that they knock heads the most with the one who is most like them. Noel and I are no different. We have such a unique relationship. We are both the oldest girls..which leaves us with an understanding of each other that is unlike any of the other kids.

What I did not consciously realize until I saw the pictures is that Noel has that “live life to the fullest, take no prisoners, each day is a gift” mentality that can lead you down the road to a beautiful and wonderful life…or take you down the road paved to hell with good intentions.

Luckily Noel has a solid friend base, a strong head on her shoulders…and a Mom who is not afraid to act a fool in public when needed.  Maybe a little fear is a good thing?

The reality is this is an amazing young woman…I can not even begin to imagine what path she will choose in life because there is not ONE thing she can not do if she sets her mind to it. In 15 years I can not think back to one time where she has had to be punished…pretty amazing in a house this size. She is a remarkable student. She has grown into a strong independent young woman who knows her mind and makes good decisions. Lord help us all!

It would help if she was a little ugly!!!

It may never be easy (especially with 3 girls) but it will always be worth it.


Our genes make us immortal.

Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.  Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.  ~Author Unknown

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It is amazing what you find when you look on your child’s camera.

Seeing as how we have no hot tub I am going to assume this is Sami’s house?

I am also going to assume that Noah is hanging his head in the top photo because he knows at some point Mom is going to find out that they have been hanging in the hot tub…I also have no idea why Noel has a water jug on her head?

I can not decide if I am going to kill them for being in the hot tub with the opposite sex…maybe I should quit laughing before I decide…these are sooooo my kids.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


Friends are kisses blown to us by angels

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This year has been the year of change for Allie. Always the child content to sit at home and play “school”, we have often wondered if she would ever break out of her shell.

Be careful what you ask for!!!!!!!!! Not only did this child break out…she came out with a bang.

Allie has made friends, sorry “best friends”, with 3 of the sweetest girls. All different, all kids I would have picked for her myself…and lucky for me all with Mom’s that I really like.

Spend the nights, ball games, late night facebook chats, is this my quiet child?

We feel very lucky to add them to our list of family and friends…YOU GO GIRL!

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book.  ~Author Unknown

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Each and every child of the tribe is so unique. I sit for hours and ponder what they will be when they “grow up”.

I was not the least bit surprised when Nick, the level headed and patient, oldest child announced that he was majoring in education. His dream…to become a high school coach. Nick has always been my old soul. Mature beyond his years. A voice of reason in my sometimes chaotic world. Dependable, honest…often referred to as Mr. Black and white. Nothing is grey in his world, there is right and wrong…and for Nick doing the right thing is the only choice. He is every mothers dream … I often wondered if the responsibility to pave the way for the other 5 was too heavy a burden. Nick has proved year after year to be up to the challenge. As the oldest child and oldest boy he has not expected the other children to walk in his shoes as they grow up, but instead he has chosen to create a path for them to follow. One that is paved with wisdom and good advice…I often tell people that Nick turned out so good in spite of me. The reality is we grew up together and I have to say we both came out mighty darn good.

Nick is now in the final years of college.  Observing and helping out the Middle School football team thanks to a friends kind recommendation. I feel mighty old watching him on the field…it was not to long ago that I remember watching him, pads bigger than he was, running out for the opening kickoff.

I can not wait to see where this journey will take him.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


This one time at band camp…

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Yup I got a band geek…okay with me cause I was a band geek too. I did not play an instrument but I was in the color guard (flag, rifle and even a majorette).

Cassie plays sweet music to my ears on her clarinet…she even impressed Hondo as they played the Michigan Fight Song with each touchdown.

I have always said that Sassie-Cassie marches to the beat of her own drummer…maybe it was the beat of middle school band…who knows.

What I do know is I am very proud of the “baby” as she makes her own mark on the tribe.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


WOOHOO we won !



Way to go Mason Creek Wolves, we won our second game against Chesnut Log Middle School.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


He who can be a good son will be a good father.


There are times when I look at Nick and am amazed at how much he looks like his father. This is one of those pictures.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


Here kitty kitty kitty


I am seriously thinking about shaving Ms. LulaBelle.  I adore this cat, she cracks me up, but she is shedding all over my house.  I have to keep my couch covered in a sheet, there is white hair on EVERYTHING.  You can tell she is quite worried about it huh?

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


Dallas and Deacon

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You know that feeling you get when you hold a baby…you grind your teeth so hard that your jaw hurts, to keep from squeezing that bundle of joy too tight….that is the closest description I can give you as to how I feel when my guys look at me and smile.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


The spirit of the tribe

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In true tribe fashion, we all turned out to support Allie at her first game. As a family we have filled a row of bleachers at baseball games, football games, basketball games, soccer games, dance recitals, wrestling matches, awards ceremonies, band concerts…well you get the picture.

Depending on the mood of the tribe we have brought air horns, posters and signs, milk jugs filled with pennies to rattle…heck anything to show our support for whatever member of the tribe we needed to embarrass….I mean cheer on.

We are masters of the wave, there are families in the county that actually move when we sit down…but by golly we have fun, and there is never a member of our family that does not “feel the love”.

Knowing this Allie begged and pleaded with us to behave…we were told not to howl like a wolf (the mascot), instructed not to dance(really? but we all are so good)…not to, well, be ourselves.

Knowing how important this day was we decided to cut her some slack…I mean there are 10 games this season right? I have all the time in the world to embarrass her.

Guess Nick and Noah did not get the memo…you can imagine my surprise as the girls headed out to perform at half time …and I look up and see my boys ripping off their shirts, slogans proclaiming their love of Allie written on the front and back…

No sense to put a good shirt to waste , of course I said yes, when they asked if they could run up and down the fence.


It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.


Give me an M!

before the game

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Allie’s first game…yes we lost but we won in spirit.

It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.