Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I live in a ZOO!

HELP! I have completely lost my mind…I live in the Twilight Zone…what in the world have I done in my life to warrant the craziness that is the Caplinger house? I actually get up every morning thinking that today will be a normal day? Are you kidding me? I am living a life that no sitcom writer even dares to dream…John and Kate plus 8 my fannie….THIS is the stuff that reality TV is made of.

I have spent years trying to unlearn all the “naughty” words that I learned from all that time working emergency medicine…but today all that went right out the window! I am the queen of naughty, the diva of disaster…my Dad’s Army buddies would be proud…I on the other hand will be asking for lots of forgiveness tonight as I say my prayers.

I have blogged about Ms. LulaBelle and her shedding and how I really had been considering shaving her down…I talked with the groomer and she said “oh yes, lots of people with long haired cats do this”…so after doing my research I scheduled her beauty shop appointment for 9 this morning. Let me point out in no way do I consider this my groomers fault…how was she to know that there was no way on God’s Green Earth that this would go according to plan.

I just got a call to come and get LulaBelle…it went something like this, “Can you please come get your cat, she is ready” “Oh great, I am on my way” “Well she is a little stressed out, I will let you get her out of the room” “Awww, poor thing” “Yes, um I could not complete her” “Eeek, how bad is it” “Well (nervous laughter), I got about half way done” “Oh okay, I will be right there”.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, can prepare you to see your cat half shaved.  Not even the top half or the bottom half, not the front half or the back half….just half…if you add up all the parts and pieces. I just keep saying over and over “OH S**T…Noel is at a friends and when she sees her I have to relive this all over again “OH S**T”…OH D&^*… OH F*&(

I am sure it is not helping that Max has done nothing but growl at her, she is shedding twice as bad from nerves and I have had to change out of two shirts, because they were covered in hair. Hair from the UNSHAVED HALF OF HER BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can only imagine the conversations that were had at the groomers…good thing I consider them my friends…I am sure that if not they would call Kitty DFACS on me.

On the other hand Hondo, not a huge cat fan, will get many a giggle as I send him the pictures…you just wait buddy, one day this will all spill over into your world…we are married so that is a given…remember what is mine is yours! Plus when they have to lock me in a padded room, you are stuck with the kids…oh oh oh that made me smile!!!

Will the madness ever stop? Will my life ever be normal again? Will I recognize it if it does? Will my sweet and patient husband leave on a trip and never come home…content to sip Cerveza and eat ceviche, while I continue to go slowly insane?

LulaBelle before her bad hair day

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LulaBelle worst hair day ever

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It may never be easy (NO CRAP) BUT it will always be worth it.



  1. Poor baby kitty!!!!!....You do realize when her hair grows back in it will be twice as the event she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and gets depressed just keep reminding her how beautiful she is...(she's probably busy plotting her revenge at this minute)...hugs to everyone..(especially the cat!)

    Auntie Donna, Uncle Don

  2. A week later and I'm still laughing...