I have sat here for several days having much difficulty in writing this post. Not sure why…I love celebrations…I love to write about my kids…but this one is hard. I think its the combination of my baby growing up…and thinking that soon I will be as old as dirt.
There is something about the oldest child…maybe its that you grow up together? Maybe its that you are just to young and stupid to be scared? What ever it is I never understood this when my mother told me…until I had Nick.
It is so hard to believe that 21 years ago I gave birth to Nick. It seems like just yesterday that I held him in my arms…amazed that I was so lucky to have been given such a gift…what could I have ever done to deserve such a beautiful baby boy.
Over the last 21 years this gift has continued to leave me as breathless as I was that very first day.
It is because of Nick that I got the name for this blog…It takes a village…because he truly was the child that was raised by the village. Every one of my friends and family had a part in creating the man he is today…from the early days when I was to afraid to bathe him…afraid that he would drown and my dear friend Brian told me “girl this child stinks” and then rolled up his sleeves and showed me how to give him a bath in the sink….to my sister who spent more hours than I can count chasing balls as Nick threw them tirelessly… my grandmother who allowed him to drink coffee, at the early age of 3 months… my mother who flew him to Kansas to make sure he had every sports opportunity there was… my father who took him to get his drivers license…Tom who has taught Nick integrity and hard work (and how to balance a checkbook)…the list goes on and on…the common thread being that we all love him…and he allows us to be a part of his world.
When Nick was in the 5th grade I got a call from his teacher to come into talk to her at the school. All I could think was OH SHEEESH what did he do now. You can imagine my surprise when I found out that the reason she called me in was not to tell me what a heathen I had…but to have me read an essay that he had written. The essay was titled “My Hero”…apparently while all the other children had written about past presidents, ball players, movie stars…my child had written about his hero…his mother…it was the most humbling experience ever…this child that I loved with all my heart did not realize it but at that moment he became my hero. While I was teaching him about life, he was teaching me what life was all about.
So I may not have done everything right…I certainly made all my parental mistakes on him…but I have to admit…WE did good! And remember no matter how old the mother…she looks to the youngest children for signs of improvement…imagine how good the rest should turn out!
Yes we always celebrate at the Mexican Restaurant…and yes his cake has a 40 year candle on it…I realized on the way out the door that I forgot candles…this was all that was in the drawer so I grabbed it…in my mind it was better than nothing…but I have come to realize that what is in my mind does not ALWAYS make sense lol. Hondo said that this was even a doozie for me…hey gotta keep the men in my life guessing what is next right? Plus I had Sir take out his pocket knife, cut off half the color on the 4…making it half of 40…or closer to 21…okay again made sense in my mind.
Happy 21st Birthday My Nick,
It may never be easy but it will always be worth it.